Talk's Cheap is the eighth episode of the seventh season in this television sitcom on Family Matters, which was aired from ABC on November 17, 1995. It was directed by Richard Correll and written both by Fred Fox Jr. and Jim Geoghan.
Urkel, his southern belle cousin Myrtle Urkel, and the nerd's alter-ego, Stefan Urquelle, each appear on a talk show to discuss relationships. Appearing with them are the objects of each one's affections: Myra, Eddie and Laura. Waldo also tags along, but this time, what he says actually makes sense. Also, Harriette believes Carl cares more about the news than her. Although it's soon revealed that he only likes watching the news in order to cope with his lack of romantic drive.
Eddie and Waldo are watching Tiffany when he asks his friend if he wants somehting to dirnk. Waldo tells him what he wants and Eddie heads into the kitchen. He sees the number the T.V. screen and calls it because his friends are having love problems.
Harriette comes down with a new nightgown to show Carl and she's upset when he rather watch the news. She leaves for their room and steps on his foot. The next day, Estelle asks her why did Steve, Laura, Waldo, Eddie and Myra agreed to come on a talk show. Harriette mentions that they wanted to work out their relationship problems on Tiffany and free t-shirts.
Steve comes on the show as himself, but later uses his transformation chamber to transform as Stefan which pleases the female audiences, including Laura. However, Myra isn't too happy about it as she's forced to sit next to Eddie. However, he unwillingly has to deal with Myrtle who's dressed up as a harem dancer and she's using the show as a means to reaffirm her love for him. He wishes his girlfriend, Greta was there to hold her off.
During that time, a fed up Myra fights with Laura. Laura thinks Stefan is perfect the way he is and tells her that Steve was a clumsy nerd who meddled with her love life. However, Myra coldly disagrees with her by revealing that she thinks that Stefan is a complete joke to her and Steve is perfect the way he is. Laura is furious and disagrees with her, but Myra isn't done yet. She mentions that though Urkel may be clumsy at times, but she doesn't love him any less. Myra tells Laura off that unlike her, she can see past that to know there is a handsome man in front of her. As the two bicker, Eddie is also arguing with Myrtle because of what she's doing and she refuses to see reason with him.
Immediately, Waldo is fed up with all the fighting that he calls his friends to their senses. Tiffany asks him if he knows her guests on the show and he tells her that they're his friends. He takes the microphone and mentions that he's the one who asked them to be on Tiffany to work out their relationship problems, not escalate their fights further. He calls for a truce with Stefan's help. Laura and Myra agrees to be friends and not to fight about Steve/Stefan anymore. Eddie agrees to be friends with Myrtle if she agrees to respect his personal space and stay in Biloxi. However, she thinks that his feelings for her are changing.
Carl is dressed up when a disheartened Harriette comes home from work. He apologizes for his refusal to be romanitc to her revealing that he watched the news to cope for his lack of romantic drive and promises he won't do that to her anymore. He sings a love song that he wrote about how important she is to him.
At the end credits, Urkel asks one of the producers for his jacket and ends up wrecking the set due to his clumsiness.
- Reginald VelJohnson as Carl Winslow
- Jo Marie Payton as Harriette Winslow (credited as Jo Marie Payton-Noble)
- Rosetta LeNoire as Estelle Winslow
- Darius McCrary as Eddie Winslow
- Kellie Shanygne Williams as Laura Winslow
- Bryton James as Richie Crawford (non-appearance as Bryton McClure)
- Jaleel White as Steve Urkel, Stefan Urquelle and Myrtle Urkel
- Shawn Harrison as Waldo Geraldo Faldo
- Michelle Thomas as Myra Monkhouse
- Lira Angel as Audience Member #3
- Robert Axelrod as Paul McCartney (look alike)
- Melanie Wilson as Tiffany
- Julie Uribe as Audience Member
- Sanetta Y. Gipson as Audience Member
- Leo D. Frank III as Stage Member
- Guest Star: Melanie Wilson as Tiffany. Originally Melanie Wilson was Jennifer on Perfect Strangers the show from which Family Matters was a spin-off.
- Jaleel White plays a triple role, as Steve Urkel, Myrtle Urkel and Stefan Urquelle. It can be considered practice for playing Sonic and his siblings on Sonic Underground.
- It's unknown who played Stefan's stunt double on stage while Myrtle was being carried in on a royal bed rest. At this time the cameras where filming the scenes switching from camera to camera where you'll see Stefan being played by a stunt double then the scene changes as the main camera is facing the guest again as you see Stefan being played by Jaleel again. But a special effect on camera was used when the main camera films Eddie and Myrtle (Jaleel) on the left, and Laura, Myra and Stefan (Jaleel) on the right being seen in two places at once. Stefan's stunt double is seen often times but not up close as Jaleel was playing Mrytle at this time.
- Much of the "Tiffany Show" set was not painted in time for filming. Sheets of unpainted OSB (oriented strand board, similar to plywood) can be seen next to painted ones throughout the set.
- The song that Carl sings to Harriette is (They Long to Be) Close to You by The Carpenters.
- Myrtle's Caption: Heart is Pounding!
- Eddie's Caption: Stomach is Churning!